Someone asked me earlier this week. I responded immediately with a yes, somewhat perplexed. Our wedding- an intimate affair with 12 of our very closest family and friends- is booked (if I haven’t already bored you to death with the details I thought I’d mention it again.) I thought it was a given that this was my plan, otherwise I’d never be marrying her in the first place. In fact, I can only see myself growing old with her. I see her as part of my future successes, lessons yet to learn and failures alike.
"Can you see yourself growing old with her?"
Image courtesy of creativecommons.org
Whilst we’re speaking about my Love, I will also mention another friend’s reaction on discussion of my wedding. That she didn’t require validation so she wouldn’t be getting married. Each to their own but I did feel slightly insulted at the implication that the reason that we’re getting married is merely that. In fact, I’m getting married because I can’t imagine spending my life, precious moments and the mundane alike, with anyone else.
It’s because we don’t require validation that we are celebrating with little fuss, with the people we love in a place we love. And it’s because we don’t require validation that her comment made me laugh.
I didn’t used to think I would get married. I knew exactly what it meant to love someone without limits; I saw it in my parents. But I didn’t think I’d find that; that love where you know exactly what the other person is thinking just by looking at their eyes. Where any second without the other seems wasted. Where you are the best version of You when you’re near that person- full of life and laughter, your love almost spilling from you with each word and every move. I thought that was reserved for people who weren’t me, that I would make do with the relationships I’d become accustomed to without trust and with bags full of infidelity and a distinct feeling of dissatisfaction and constant excuse making; to myself and others. I didn’t think I’d find that love where you feel almost a suffocation at being apart from your other.
I didn’t expect to find the person I consider the other half of myself ever, but especially not as a young woman.
And then I did.
And now I know exactly who I’ll be an old lady with.